You’ve probably heard of divorce because one out of every two marriages ends in divorce. Surely, you’ve seen friends, relatives, and coworkers suffer through a divorce, either up close or from afar. You may even be a divorced child who has firsthand knowledge of the situation. But now it’s your turn to go through a divorce, and while you’ve seen others go through it, going through it yourself is a completely different ballgame.

We’ve learnt a few things after representing numerous clients in their divorce cases. While we can honestly state that nothing, and we mean nothing, surprises us anymore, there are many parallels that we see (and hear) time and over. We could provide a big donation to a worthwhile cause if we had a $1 for every time we heard, “I’m so anxious I can’t eat or sleep.”

But there’s a point we’re getting to, which is that we see and hear a lot of the same things with our clients, but many of these things aren’t covered in divorce articles on the internet or in divorce magazines. As a result, we decided to write an article about the things people don’t tell you about divorce. Prepare yourself for the journey because, if it hasn’t already, this information may hit close to home.

All the Big Changes Seem Like Huge Hurdles to Overcome: We’ve grown accustomed to receiving rapid pleasure in our fast-paced society. Not surprisingly, some of the most difficult aspects of divorce for many are tedious rather than difficult. Moving into separate residences, packing boxes, changing utilities, canceling credit cards, closing bank accounts, changing dozens of passwords, creating new emails, changing health insurance, updating cell phone plans, changing beneficiaries on retirement and bank accounts, changing insurance policies, and so on are all things that need to be done.

It’s truly like starting over, and the dozens of boring, monotonous activities can be the most aggravating aspect of divorce. You’re probably short on time, and getting a divorce will need you to spend a significant amount of time getting your affairs in order so that you can separate yourself from your previously married self. All of these duties may seem boring at first, but we promise that once you complete them, you’ll breathe a sigh of relief and look forward to the next chapter in your life.

I’ve Been Looking Forward to This Day For So Long, Why am I so Sad? Assuming you’ve been unhappily married for a long time, you’ve fantasized about divorce and being single for some time now. Nevertheless, now that it’s actually happening, you’re depressed. You could be OK one minute and then completely lose it the next. What’s going on?

There were probably some happy memories, right? You wouldn’t have married your husband or wife if it wasn’t the case. It may have been lovely in the beginning. You fell in love, married, and possibly began a family. You’ve undoubtedly shared a lot of firsts — new adventures, exciting vacations, lots of hugs and kisses, and late nights watching your favorite TV series. You have a lot of history if you have children together.

Just because your marriage fell apart for one reason or another, that doesn’t mean you didn’t have a lot of fun and create a lot of memories you’ll cherish. “I was very unhappy, so why am I so sad?” you might wonder. Don’t be so hard on yourself, though. You’re experiencing a tremendous sense of loss, and you’ve lost a lot — your aspirations and dreams for a wonderful, long-lasting marriage.

On top of that, if you have children together, there’s an extra level of despair because you’re no longer able to offer them the family you dreamed for. Recognize that it’s natural to feel sad or melancholy throughout a divorce, even if it’s without a doubt the best decision you’ve ever made for your family. Give yourself some time and trust that your wounds will heal on their own.

I’m Afraid that I Might Die Alone: When our clients divorce, they come to us with a variety of perspectives. Some folks are ecstatic to return to the dating scene. Some people wish to wait until their divorce is finalized before dating again, while others don’t know whether or when they’ll date again. Others, on the other hand, are scared of remaining single for the rest of their lives. Avoid falling into a rebound relationship if you fall into the last category.

Many people who are going through a divorce may benefit from taking their time. It’s time for some alone time. It’s time for them to get their ducks in a row. It’s time for them to concentrate on their children. It’s time for them to focus on themselves and figure out exactly what they want from life and their future relationship. Perhaps you want to play the field for a time because there are so many fish in the sea, especially in Los Angeles, so a relationship is off the table for at least a year or two after the divorce.

You shouldn’t be worried that you’ll die alone, or that you’ll be a “cat lady” or stay single for the rest of your life. It’s entirely conceivable if you still believe in real love and the institution of marriage, and if you desire a second chance at finding your soulmate. There are a lot of people looking for partners; all you have to do is look in the correct places and be willing to meet and learn about new people.

If you need the support and guidance of a sensitive and highly skilled California divorce lawyer, then you should call the offices of Spodek Law Group today for your free consultation.