Summertime in California conjures up images of hot summer days by the seaside, ice cream trucks playing music, sprinklers, pool parties, summer camping excursions, in-law vacations, kids sleeping in, scorching temperatures, and for unhappily married couples…waiting for the appropriate moment to file for divorce.

If you’re truly considering divorce, there’s a lot to consider, including the timing of your divorce. Do you file for divorce now that the kids are out of school, or do you wait until the fall to do so? There is no “one size fits all” response to this issue, but we can tell you that the busiest months for divorces are September and January; these are the actual divorce seasons. But why is this the case?

Couples with children frequently wish to postpone their divorce filing until after summer vacations and the Christmas season are officially ended. Mom and Dad, for example, will want to spend one last summer vacation together as a family before divorcing. Alternatively, they may wish to enjoy one final holiday season together before calling it quits.

What About Couples Who Don’t Have Children?

Couples without children are not subjected to the same restrictions as parents with small children at home. As a result, it’s rare for a married couple to wish to spend “one final summer together” or “one last Christmas or Hanukkah together.”

On the contrary, if a childless couple is unhappy, they will likely desire to divorce as soon as possible. In some cases, though, a couple may have a family summer wedding to attend or non-refundable vacation tickets to purchase, and in those cases, they may prefer to wait until the divorce is more convenient.

When is it Better to Divorce in the Summer?

Even if they have children together, some couples find that a summer divorce is preferable. This is especially true when domestic violence or psychological abuse are involved. It is not a healthy atmosphere for the innocent spouse and children if the home environment is plagued by physical abuse towards a spouse or children, verbal abuse, manipulation, and excessive control.

The children may not be victimized by physical abuse themselves, but they may witness spousal abuse.  This setting is extremely poisonous, and no family vacation should ever be prioritized over the emotional well-being of the children. Psychological abuse (emotional abuse) is classified as domestic violence under California law, so it should not be overlooked or overlooked.

Signs of psychological abuse in a marriage include: 

• You were confident before the relationship, but now you’re insecure and have doubts about yourself.
• You always believe that your spouse’s conduct is your responsibility, and that all you have to do is improve yourself and make him or her happier.
• You become confused and uncertain when you consider divorce.
• You used to be content and cheerful, but now you’re anxious and emotionally weary.
• If you begin to think highly of yourself, you will begin to doubt your judgment and lose confidence.
• You’re experiencing heightened insecurities from those you had before the marriage.
• Your spouse keeps you apart from your friends and relatives.
• Your husband or wife belittles you and is dismissive towards you.
• Your spouse screams at you and insults you.
• You’re getting the quiet treatment from your partner.
• Your partner is constantly questioning your every move.
• You have the impression that you are incapable of doing anything correctly. 

If you have been subjected to physical or psychological abuse, you should consider filing for divorce as soon as possible. Emotional abuse frequently precedes physical aggression, and verbal abuse frequently escalates into full-fledged physical abuse. Even if verbal abuse never escalates to physical abuse, it can be just as devastating, and if there are children at home who are witnesses to or victims of such abuse, it is critical that it be stopped.

Getting Ready for Your Divorce

The preparations are the same whether you get divorced during the summer or later. And the greater your preparation, the better. Here’s how to get started on your divorce preparations:

• Speak with a divorce lawyer before telling your spouse you want a divorce. The lawyer’s counsel will be quite beneficial.
• Become familiar with California’s child support, child custody, property and debt division, and no-fault divorce laws so that you are aware of your rights and obligations.
• Don’t hide any assets because the judge will frown on it.
• Create a post-divorce budget to estimate how much it will cost to support yourself as an individual.
• Consider whether or not you will be required to pay or receive spousal or child support? If so, how much and for how long do you think you’ll need it?
• Check your and your spouse’s credit reports with all three credit reporting bureaus (TransUnion, Experian and Equifax) to see what you owe and to whom.
• Run copies of all of your financial documents, such as bank statements, recent tax returns, retirement accounts, vehicle loans, credit cards, and mortgage documents. These may be more difficult to locate after you file for divorce.
• Accept the idea that your divorce can and will be amicable. Once you’ve filed, try to negotiate with your husband to reach an amicable agreement. If you act calmly, you should be able to influence your spouse’s reaction to the divorce.
• Make the decision that from this day forward, you will treat your spouse with dignity and respect throughout the divorce and afterwards, especially if you have children together.
• Treat your divorce as a business decision and keep your emotions out of it. You don’t want to say or do something that you’ll later regret.

We hope you found this information useful. Contact the California divorce company of Spodek Law Group now to book a free case evaluation with a compassionate and skilled member of our legal team. We look forward to serving you.