We love a good romance, especially when we’ve helped a client go through a divorce and finally found “true love.” However, before the princess can reach her prince, she must sometimes kiss a few frogs along the road.

The same is true for our male clients. They may have to love and lose before they discover “the one,” and the person who is suitable for them at age 30, 40, or 50 is often substantially different from the person they pictured at the age of 21. This is due to the fact that as we grow older and wiser, we become more aware of what truly makes us happy – and for the vast majority of us, true love transcends chemistry.

The Dirty Truth About Failed Relationships

Approximately half of all first marriages in the United States end in divorce. In other words, five out of ten marriages will result in divorce. You might be surprised by the reasons for all of these disastrous marriages. Sure, adultery and financial difficulties will always be considerations, but there are many more causes for divorce than infidelity and bankruptcy.

Below are 9 of the most common, but less discussed reasons behind marriage fails:

1. Less Physical Intimacy Life is difficult, and marriage is even more so. A couple who had an active sex life at the start of their marriage may find themselves having very little sex as the years pass. Children, physical and mental health concerns, money troubles, aging, weight gain, and stressful job schedules can all contribute to a couple’s sex life being non-existent, causing their marriage to fall apart.

2. Weight Gain After marriage, it is fairly common for people to gain between 27 and 30 pounds each. Weight increase is associated with a loss of energy, diminished self-esteem, and, occasionally, a wandering eye. “I’m just not attracted to her (or him) anymore,” the thinner spouse would often say when one spouse has acquired a lot of weight while the other has maintained their weight.

Weight increase may appear to be a flimsy reason to call it quits on a marriage, but it would be unwise to disregard the harsh reality: when a partner adds a large amount of weight, many spouses lose interest in the marriage.

3. Demanding Work Schedules Busy work schedules not only influence a married couple’s sex life, but they can also cause physical separation, which leads to emotional separation. In fact, it’s not uncommon for spouses who travel frequently to have relationships with co-workers or strangers they meet while on business. In consequence, hectic work schedules can place undue strain on a marriage that would otherwise be joyful and healthy.

4. Mental Health Problems In scenarios where one partner is dealing with major mental health concerns, the other spouse may find it difficult to cope. If the mentally ill spouse’s capacity to work, sleep, care for the couple’s children, make reasonable decisions, and be a loving spouse is affected by mental illness, the pair may experience a disconnect to the point that they no longer feel like a married couple. Unfortunately, severe mental illness might result in an immediate divorce.

5. Raising a Special Needs Child Bringing up a disabled child can be incredibly difficult for a relationship, particularly for the caregiver spouse who is responsible for the child full-time. The emotional and financial burden of caring for a disabled child can sometimes put a marriage under so much strain that it gives way.

6. Opposing Personalities (extrovert vs. introvert) In the beginning, a strong physical attraction might be explosive, but most people would agree that it only goes so far. If a couple hurries to the altar due to physical attraction, but their personalities are diametrically opposed, their marriage could be doomed. Things might quickly become boring if one spouse is an outgoing extrovert and the other is a quiet introvert who likes to stay at home. Because their personalities do not mix well together, the pair loses interest in each other before they realize it.

7. Few or No Common Interests  Happy couples tend to share a lot of characteristics. They don’t have to like all of each other’s activities, but it’s ideal if they have a lot in common. For example, if he enjoys trying new foods, shopping, and attending parties while she prefers to stay at home and read, this could be a formula for trouble.

If she enjoys traveling, wine, going to the gym, and biking, but he prefers to watch movies at home, eat junk food, and play video games, the couple is unlikely to last. It will be difficult for a couple to have fun together if they share few, if any, common interests, and a strong marriage is built on having fun.

8. Dramatic Role Reversals The best example of this is when a stay-at-home mom becomes the breadwinner and her husband quits or loses his job, he becomes a stay-at-home dad. Some men may find this role reversal to be emasculating, while for others, it works out well.

All of a sudden, the wife becomes emotionally stronger and financially independent all of a sudden. She doesn’t need her husband as much as she used to. Meanwhile, the husband has rely on his wife to pay his debts, which necessitates approaching her for financial assistance. Even though our culture is changing and this arrangement works for some couples, other marriages may be weakened, leading to bitterness and divorce.

9. The So-Called “Psycho Ex” Because so many first marriages end in divorce, there are a lot of second marriages and blended families, which can make matters even more complicated. We hate to say it, but the classic instance of the “crazy ex” may really put a second marriage on the rocks. To weather the blows of a crazy ex who is doing all in their power to damage the new marriage, it sometimes requires a very strong marriage.